Ode To a Lost Friendship

© 2011 - 2019 Deborah Strod

Ode to a lost friendship
 
Losing your friendship
Makes me doubt I am who I think I am
 
I have missed many things
I have missed your children knowing me as they grew up
And seeing them grow
 
I have missed your companionship
And wise counsel
 
I have mourned your losses from afar
(those I knew about)
 
Though I have been told I am not the only one
And though I have been told it was not my fault
The worry lingers
That I hurt you
Unknowingly
 
And not knowing
The cause
Of
Separation
Has
Left
Me
Bereft.
 
I plug on
I left you alone
Eventually.
 
Even after
You said you’d call
And didn’t
Even after I probably tried too hard
I did eventually
Just
Stop
Trying.
 
But I did not stop missing
Or mourning our loss
Of a friendship which was supportive to both
A pair with a unique understanding
Of each other
And the world
And the way we’d try
To make it better
And still be ourselves
And be able to be confused
And see distinctions
 
And yet this is not a love poem
It is a loving friendship poem
And is a loss poem.

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